Any apprentice wizard can cast a boring old magic missile. Sure, it always strikes its target. Yawn. Do away with the drudgery of your grandfather's magic with this improved version of the spell, as used by Jim Darkmagic!!!
You create three twisting, whistling, hypoallergenic, gluten-free darts of magical force. Each dart targets a creature of your choice that you can see within range. Make a ranged spell attack for each missile. On a hit, a missile deals 2*D4 force damage to its target.
  If the attack roll scores a critical hit, the target of that missile takes 5*D4 force damage instead of you rolling damage twice for a critical hit. If the attack roll for any missile is a 1, all missiles miss their targets and blow up in your face, dealing 1 force damage per missile to you. Because apparently you suck at casting magic missile.