5 - Signed, Stamped, Sealed, and Darted

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[Sunday, May 15, 2163]

[Location Undisclosed > Butterscotch Headquarters > Section L > Emilia and Allison’s? Quarters > 14:41]

Emilia and Allison entered the room, and much to Allison’s surprise, there was now another bed in the room, complete with the sheets and pillows that matched the first one. “When the hell did that get here!?”

“I pulled the bed out of storage. Mark helped a little, and the sheets and things I got 2-for-1, so it made sense”. Emilia answered as if it were only natural. “I did that while you were eating lunch. I’ve been snacking for most of the day so I wasn’t particularly hungry”.

Images of Emilia barging into the shower earlier flashed through Allison’s mind and the words ‘There’s a very high chance that we’re going to be roomies... Might as well get used to seeing each other now’ echoed through her head.

Emilia chuckled “Did you just remember and paraphrase our conversation in the shower earlier? The answer to the question you’re about to ask is ‘Yes, we are roommates now’. I will try to keep the weaponized finger-pointing to a minimum.”

“Alright, can’t complain there. So, which bed is mine?”

“The one that doesn’t have the empty plate on it. Speaking of beds, you might want to make sure you get a good night's rest. Your evaluations start tomorrow morning.”

“Oh, sure. What time”? Allison paused as the realization caught up to her. “Wait, did you say evaluations?! For what?!”

“Field duty, duh”.

Allison’s eyes grew wide. “Wait, you’re putting me on active duty? Didn't I just get here… and as a prisoner no~less?”

“Minor details. You're going to learn things work a bit differently around here, and by 'a bit’, I mean ‘a lot’.” At this point, Emilia walked over to a desk that Allison hadn’t noticed before. Actually, with things like furniture appearing when she was out to lunch, she questioned if the desk was ever there to begin with. 

Allison’s train of thought was derailed and her question of whether the desk was a hallucination or not was answered simultaneously when Emilia pulled a noticeably thick stack of papers out of one of the drawers and threw them in her direction. Allison hastily caught the bound bundle of papers, staggering backward slightly in the process, and gave Emilia a puzzled look.

“And this is…?”

“Just a bunch of legal bullshit and agency policies. Places to sign, date, initial, and stamp in blood are all highlighted accordingly” Emilia answered.

“Uhm… what”?

“Don’t worry, you aren’t giving away naming rights to your firstborn child or anything, and you signed your life away with the previous agency already. We already analyzed the chip and got your contract’s details. This one is better, trust me.”

Allison was already scanning through the documents, occasionally pausing with an expression of disbelief. “What the hell is a ‘legacy account holder’?"

Emilia casually answered “The person you agree to let manage your social media accounts after you die. You also can designate who will be the one to clear your internet history and wipe your computers after death as well. Anyone who has any sense will obviously choose Mark for the task.”

“OK. Guess I’ll just choose you for the legacy account thing. We can change this later, right? Also, It’s 2163, why isn’t this done digitally, or with voice confirmation, or biometric verification? Surely there has to be some more efficient way to do all this.”

“The original documents are to be done on paper. That’s agency policy. All of this will be digitized later anyway, but someone thought it would be a good thing to do and this agency has been around for quite a while, so that rule is probably a relic of its inception.”

Allison nodded understandingly “I guess that makes sense. So, there’s more in here. Stuff about a will, power of attorney, adoption?! What the hell? What do those even apply to?”

Emilia responded as per usual, which is to say, as if this were all completely expected. “The will is for if you die, duh. Power of attorney is if you become mentally incapacitated and adoption would be if you… wait, do you have kids?”

“No. If I did, I wouldn’t have been willing to come along, and seeing as you were apparently able to pull my contract, i'd think you'd also know if I had children or not. That being said, as crazy as you guys seem, it’s kinda doubtful any of us would survive long enough to have families of our own.”

Emilia sighed “I can’t disagree with that. A family would be nice one day… but I don’t see myself having one.”

Allison noticed Emilia’s melancholy tone and expression. “And why not”?

Emilia answered with the familiar straight-arm motion accompanied by clicking and whirring sounds. Allison found herself staring at… well, it wasn’t the rifle she’d become nearly accustomed to seeing. “Is that a… crossbow”!?

“Well, yeah, but this one can change modes and would also be classified as a ‘micro-ballista’. It’s a bit old, but it is relatively quiet, powerful, and freaks people the hell out. If I change the positioning, I can launch a javelin or a spear with this thing. Otherwise, it just shoots bolts that are as big as the arrows I’d shoot with a compound bow”.

Allison looked at the arm-sized siege weapon with amazement. “That’s pretty cool”.

“I know right?! Wait, no… it’s not. You do realize this was my arm a minute ago, right”?

“....yeah, still coming to terms with that…”

“THAT! THAT SHIT RIGHT THERE IS EXACTLY MY POINT! That is why!”

Allison’s eyes widened… again. “What were we even talking about?”

“Wow, I’ve met squirrels that had longer attention spans. The reason I don’t see myself as a family person” Emilia sighed.

“Uhm, weren’t you just saying how cool it was after being all mopey about it 20 seconds before?”

“Fine, so we both have short attention spans. Anyways, having weaponized arms doesn’t exactly make me family-friendly.”

“No, pointing them all willy-nilly at people doesn’t make you friendly in any sense. Did we not discuss your pointing habits earlier? It’s also rude to point… and even more rude to point weapons. You are being rude times rude!”

“Huh… never thought of it that way,” Emilia said slowly as if taking the time to absorb the words letter by letter. “OK, new subject… or old subject! Those documents!”

“Ugh”. Allison groaned and the two of them began to make their way through the documents. Emilia highlighted key points and explained things, up until page 112, at which point Allison resorted to scribbling her signature without bothering to read the text, a decision which she would undoubtedly come to regret later… on multiple occasions.

It was nearly 1 AM when they finished with the documents. Allison was handed yet another duckie bandage after Emilia applied more of the mysterious wound-sealing antiseptic cream to her finger. Emilia put her ritual knife, a gift from Jessica, away and took the very official and now bloody stamp to the bathroom for cleaning.

Allison leaned sleepily at the desk as Emilia reentered the room. Emilia began cleaning up her bed (or eating the leftovers) that were on her three plates. As for when the other two plates appeared and when they had been partially emptied, Allison was at a complete loss. What she found even more surprising was that there was now uneaten food on her own bed, apparently still hot as steam was rising from a bowl of what she thought was soup.

Emilia answered the unasked questions “Yes, that is for you. Yes, when it comes to food, I am almost as sneaky as David and Jessica, and yes… food IS serious business. The soup is light and shouldn’t upset your stomach before sleep, which you’ll need since your evaluations officially start tomorrow”.

Hunger had finally caught up to Allison and she was halfway through the bowl of soup when the words ‘evaluations officially start tomorrow’ reached her ears. She lost at least 1 mouthful of soup as a result of shock and was thankful that she would soon be changing into hopefully non-armored pajamas shortly anyway.

She managed to finish the soup and then looked at Emilia in a daze “Tomorrow… already… so soon”?!

And this is why I said you should sleep”

Allison answered, now seemingly nervous “I don’t think I’ll be able to sleep”.

“At least try. Get changed. You can take pretty much any set of pajamas from the closet”.

Allison did as she was told, stopping when she felt a presence unnaturally close to her. She heard the same sound she’d heard when she used Emilia’s hand earlier and felt a sharp pain in her neck. She was assaulted by sleep seconds later and caught by Emilia.


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