4338.208.5 | Holes

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As the ute's wheels churned up dust, I couldn't help but pause and watch the thick plumes that seemed to dance in the sunlit air, a gritty ballet of chaos and departure. Jamie's stride away was more than just a movement; it was a loud, palpable huff that seemed to cut through the tension, leaving a trail of unsaid words and unresolved feelings hanging heavier than the dust in the air.

"What do we do with these plants now?" Glenda's voice pierced through my contemplation, her tone as calm as a serene lake, undisturbed by the ripples of our current turmoil. It was almost enviable, her ability to stay composed when the arrival of the ute and Jamie's abrupt exit had thrown everything else into disarray.

Chris, ever the guardian of all things fragile, didn't miss a beat. "We keep them safe," he declared, his voice carrying a protective edge that seemed to wrap around the seedlings like a shield. I watched as he gently lowered his hands, treating the seedlings with the tenderness of a parent tucking in a child, and planted them in the soil with meticulous care. "The tents should give them a little shade and protection from the sun," he added, a hopeful note in his voice that seemed to counterbalance the uncertainty of our situation.

I sighed softly, a sound lost amidst the symphony of our efforts to salvage what we could. A twinge of concern for the delicate plants gnawed at me, their vulnerability a mirror to our own precarious position. Leaving them exposed, even with the scant protection of the tents, felt akin to leaving a part of ourselves unguarded against the harshness of the world. Yet, in this moment of upheaval, with options as scarce as shade in the desert, it was the best we could do.

The weight of the situation settled on my shoulders, a heavy cloak woven with threads of worry and determination. As I stood there, amidst the dust, the departing backs, and the fragile hope of new growth, I couldn't shake the feeling that we were all, in some way, seedlings fighting for survival in an unpredictable landscape.

"We had better finish putting it up," Glenda said, her voice cutting through the heavy air, filled with the scent of earth and the undercurrent of our shared determination. She got to her feet with a grace that seemed at odds with our rugged surroundings, offering a stark contrast to the chaos that had unfolded moments before. Extending her hand towards me, a gesture of camaraderie in our little oasis of turmoil, she helped me bridge the gap between the ground and standing once again. Gratefully, I accepted her assistance, my hands, coated in the day's work, gripping hers as she pulled me to my feet with a strength that belied her calm demeanour.

My gaze shifted towards Chris, silently asking, Are you coming? It felt almost like a plea, wanting him to join us in our small battle against the elements, hoping he'd set aside his fascination with the earth for a moment to help us secure our shelter. Yet, Chris seemed lost in his own world, his gaze locked onto the ground as if it whispered secrets only he could decipher. It was a side of him that fascinated and frustrated me in equal measure, his ability to become so absorbed in his thoughts that the rest of the world faded into the background.

Slowly, Chris rose to his feet, a figure of contemplation against the backdrop of our makeshift camp. With his hands on his hips and eyes scanning the horizon, he looked every bit the explorer charting unknown territories. "I want to see how far this soil spreads," he mused aloud, his voice tinged with a curiosity that seemed to draw him away from us, towards a quest of his own making.

"Fine," I found myself saying, a shrug lifting my shoulders as I tried to mask my disappointment. It wasn't like I expected him to read my mind, but part of me wished he'd prioritise our immediate needs over his scientific pursuits, just this once. "I'll come and find you when Glenda and I are done with the tent." The words were out before I could weigh them, a declaration of independence tinged with a silent plea for him to notice the effort it took to keep our small world from unraveling at the seams.

Chris's smile, broad and unabashedly grateful, flashed across his face as he collected a tent peg and started towards the river, a lone figure embarking on his own exploration. It was a smile that spoke volumes, a silent acknowledgment of my understanding, and perhaps, an apology for his momentary absence.

Watching him walk away, I half expected him to turn back and return the peg, but he seemed intent on his new mission. "Where are you going with that?" I called out, my voice tinged with frustration.

Chris stopped in his tracks, the peg swinging idly from his fingers as he turned back to face me. His gaze was questioning, feigning a level of ignorance that was almost comical. "With what?" he asked, his voice laced with a pretence of confusion that didn't quite reach his eyes.

"You know what," I shot back, my hands finding their place on my hips as if to anchor my growing irritation. My expression must have been a picture of incredulity mixed with exasperation. It wasn't like Chris to play dumb, but I had come to learn that his single-mindedness often bordered on selective hearing, especially when it came to his scientific explorations.

Realising that his attempt to deflect was failing, Chris raised the peg slightly, as if offering it up in concession. "Well, I'm not going to get too far trying to dig beyond that crust with my bare hands now, am I." There was a logical undercurrent to his words, a soundness to his reasoning that, despite my frustration, I couldn't deny. The soil's crusty layer was indeed a formidable barrier, one that bare hands were ill-equipped to breach.

I let out a sigh, one that carried all the nuances of my frustration and concession. It was moments like these that Chris's rugged determination shone through—a quality that, in different circumstances, I greatly admired. Even when his pursuits led him away from immediate tasks, there was something undeniably compelling about his dedication.

With a nod that felt more like a silent acknowledgment of his victory than I cared to admit, Chris turned back around, resuming his casual stride towards the river. The adventurer in me yearned to join him, to cast aside practical concerns in favour of discovery. I lingered in that thought for a moment, the allure of the unknown tugging at my heartstrings.

But then, a curse from Glenda, sharp and tinged with frustration, snapped me back to reality. I glanced over my shoulder, catching sight of her battling with the tent fabric—a fabric that seemed to have taken on a life of its own, refusing to cooperate with our need for shelter. In that instant, my resolve solidified.

Glenda really does need my help.


As I made my way towards Chris, the gentle hum of the river accompanied my steps, its rhythmic flow a soothing backdrop to the day’s warm sun. He was hunched over near its banks, utterly absorbed in his work, the very picture of concentration.

"I've been testing your holes," I announced, drawing near enough for him to hear, my voice laced with a playful note. I couldn't help the smirk that danced on my lips, a silent echo of the mischief I felt.

His reaction was as immediate as it was amusing. His hands, previously steady and sure, flailed momentarily, pressing into the dust as if he sought to anchor himself against an unseen force. It was a moment of pure, unguarded surprise, and I savoured it, a bubble of laughter threatening to escape me.

Chris's composure returned swiftly, his balance regained as he shot me a look that managed to be both exasperated and fond. He glanced past me, his attention shifting back to the task at hand with a dedication that was both admirable and slightly amusing. “We don't want to waste them," he remarked, a note of earnestness in his voice. His eyes, a deep shade of thoughtfulness, scanned the small holes dotting the landscape beside the river, each a cradle for potential life.

“There’s plenty to go around," I countered, waving the small seed packet in the air like a flag of reassurance. Peering inside, a flicker of concern crossed my mind as I noticed the dwindling number of seeds. They seemed to disappear faster than I had anticipated. "I’ll ask Luke to bring some more,” I declared, the resolve in my voice masking the sudden worry that nibbled at my confidence.

Chris’s suggestion came from a place of practicality, a trait I had come to both admire and rely upon. “Maybe ask for a broader range of seeds,” he said, his voice carrying the weight of experience and foresight.

“Yeah. I will,” I agreed, my tone softening as I crouched down beside him. Together, we engaged in the delicate task of planting another seed, a shared moment of hope and anticipation. The earth beneath our fingers felt cool and welcoming, ready to nurture the new life we entrusted to it.

For several silent minutes, we sat together, our gazes fixed on the spot where the seed had been gently placed. Despite having witnessed the miracle of growth countless times before, each new sprout that broke through the soil felt like a marvel, a tiny testament to the resilience and wonder of life. As I watched, a sense of awe enveloped me, a reminder of the simple yet profound beauty of our endeavour. The river flowed on beside us, a timeless witness to the cycle of growth and renewal, and in that moment, I felt an unbreakable connection to the earth, to Chris, and to the endless possibilities that lay dormant in the palm of my hand.

Chris's sudden movement broke the tranquil rhythm of our work beside the river. He stood up abruptly, pressing his hands into his thighs in a gesture that spoke of urgency. “Go move them to the other seedlings near the tent,” his command was delivered in a tone that intermingled concern with authority, compelling immediate attention. I felt a flicker of surprise, my eyes narrowing slightly as I sought to understand the shift in his demeanour.

"We can't be certain these tiny plants will survive if we leave them exposed like this," he elaborated, his voice carrying an edge of worry that was uncharacteristic of his usual stoic nature.

As I turned my attention back to the seedling cradled delicately between my fingers, the soil beneath them sent strange tingles through my skin. This sensation, both peculiar and intriguing, seemed to resonate with the very essence of our work—unearthing the mysteries that lay hidden in the fabric of this world. Chris's words, a gentle reminder of the practicality that grounded our experiments, brought a moment of clarity amidst the whirlwind of curiosity.

“We really should be recording the location data if we are going to be experimenting like this,” I found myself saying, the thought emerging almost as a whisper. The notion of applying a methodical, scientific approach to our endeavours was not new, but in the face of our discoveries, it felt increasingly crucial. The balance between the thrill of exploration and the discipline of study was a delicate one.

Chris’s smile, soft and reassuring, momentarily eased the tension that had begun to build within me. The appearance of a dimple on his cheek, a rare and fleeting glimpse into his lighter side, offered a brief respite from the seriousness of our task. “We can do the experimenting later. Let’s just dig a few more holes. Give us an idea whether this is an isolated phenomenon or potentially has much greater spread.”

The simplicity of his proposal, coupled with the warmth of his smile, momentarily lifted the veil of uncertainty. Yet, as I stood there, seedling in hand, I found myself caught in a maelm of emotions. The desire to delve deeper into the unknown, to push the boundaries of our understanding, was at odds with the methodical, cautious approach that our work demanded. The balance between these two forces, the unquenchable thirst for knowledge and the discipline required to acquire it responsibly, was a tightrope I found myself navigating with increasing concern.

Chris's gaze, laden with concern, pierced through the veil of my hesitation, prompting a shift in our interaction. "What is it?" he inquired, his voice slicing through the thick air between us.

As my eyes inadvertently caught sight of the rawness marring Chris's hand, a pang of empathy softened my features. My mind raced, urging my mouth to articulate the concern that had momentarily lodged itself in my throat. "We need something better to dig with," I managed to say, my voice a blend of determination and concern. Grasping his arm gently, I coaxed his clenched fist open, revealing the blisters that had begun to form on his palm—a stark testament to his toil and dedication. The sight triggered a silent sigh within me, a lament for the physical toll this place had exacted on him in less than twenty-four hours.

An unexpected surge of emotion welled up inside me, a yearning to bridge the gap that hardship and time had imposed between us. With deliberate tenderness, I brushed away the tiny grains of dirt adorning his skin, a gesture intimate and caring. Bringing his rough hands to my lips, I kissed them softly, an act that conveyed more than words ever could—a silent promise of support and affection.

“I'll be back soon,” I pledged, locking eyes with him. In that gaze, there mingled a spectrum of feelings—concern, affection, and an unspoken understanding that transcended the physical. The connection, fragile yet unyielding, bound us together amidst the uncertainty of our surroundings.

As I turned away, the distance between us seemed to amplify the peculiar tingling sensation in my hands, a physical manifestation of the complex tapestry of emotions I was navigating. I rubbed my palms together, as if the friction could erase the unsettling undercurrent of sexual tension that had unexpectedly surfaced. The reality of our physical estrangement, a gap widened by Chris's challenges in intimacy, had been a facet of our relationship I had learned to navigate with grace and acceptance. Yet, here, in this alien environment, dormant desires and yearnings flickered to life, stirred by an ambiance that seemed to whisper of possibilities and reawakened passions.

"There's something about this place," I murmured to myself, a sense of wonder threading through my voice. As I brushed away the remnants of soil from my hands, the sensation served as a tangible reminder of the day's labours and the inexplicable energy that permeated this land. "Something about this place that feels... different.” The words hung in the air, a testament to the mysterious allure of our surroundings, hinting at unseen forces at play, weaving their magic into the fabric of our existence, challenging our perceptions and rekindling emotions long subdued. In this moment of solitude, I found myself standing at the threshold of discovery, not just of the land but of the depths within me, awaiting the revelations that this strange new world promised to unveil.


After a futile search for a shovel or any tool that could pass for suitable, I found myself drawn back to the trail of coriander seedlings Chris and I had tenderly placed in the earth. Each little green shoot was a breadcrumb on the path we had created together, leading me back to the last spot where we had worked side by side. As I retraced our steps, a knot of unease tightened in my stomach. The absence of Chris hung heavily in the air, transforming the familiar landscape into a tableau of worry. Where the hell is Chris? The question thrummed through my mind, a persistent beat that quickened my pulse.

“Chris!” My call sliced through the silence, laced with a concern that felt thick in my throat. I spun around, my heels churning up clouds of fine dust, eyes darting across the expanse in a desperate attempt to pierce the veil of uncertainty. The riverbank, with its flat and open terrain, offered no hint of his whereabouts. With a sense of purpose, I veered towards the rockier ground, my voice carrying across the landscape, continuously calling his name.

Then, like a mirage materialising from the heat, Chris appeared from behind a rocky outcrop, disturbingly close yet seemingly miles away until this moment. Relief surged through me, a tide that ebbed as swiftly as it had flooded, giving way to a wave of irritation that prickled at my skin.

“Where the hell have you been?” I demanded, my voice sharper than intended, eyes narrowing into slits. The readiness to delve into a litany of worries and admonishments was palpable in my stance, a tension that sought release.

“I had to piss,” came Chris’s reply, draped in the casual nonchalance that was as much a part of him as the very skin on his bones. His blunt simplicity, a stark contrast to the whirlwind of emotions I had just experienced, left me momentarily speechless.

My brow furrowed deeper, morphing my concern into a scowl that I hoped conveyed more than words could. You know I don't like that word, I thought fiercely, hoping my eyes would transmit the disapproval that my voice momentarily couldn't. His choice of words, so casually dispensed, felt like a jarring note in the symphony of our day's endeavours.

"I found a shovel," Chris declared, his voice cutting cleanly through the air, redirecting the current of our conversation away from the eddies of discomfort and irritation.

My initial annoyance evaporated, replaced by a bubbling excitement that rose swiftly to the surface. "Where’d you find that?" I inquired, my curiosity leaping forward, momentarily pushing aside the lingering unease that had taken root in the back of my mind. The prospect of having a proper tool felt like a small victory, a beacon of progress in our struggle to adapt and survive.

Chris's response, however, tempered my enthusiasm with a dose of reality. "I believe I’ve stumbled across a toilet site," he admitted, his tone threading a delicate balance between humour and resignation.

My eyebrows arched involuntarily, surprise and a dawning realisation intermingling within me. The implications of his discovery unfolded in my mind, painting a vivid picture of the challenges and makeshift solutions that awaited us.

Chuckling at the situation, Chris's next comment carried a light-hearted jest. “Where did you think they were going to go when nature called?” His words echoed a sentiment of acceptance, an acknowledgment of the rudimentary aspects of life.

I couldn't help but cringe slightly, my gaze instinctively sweeping over the expansive landscape that stretched out before us. This was a stark, unadorned reminder of the intricacies of survival in this new world—a world where the conveniences of our previous life were stripped back to reveal the raw and elemental needs of human existence.

Chris drew my attention back to the matter at hand. “Yeah, we’ll need to do the same,” he stated, his voice imbued with a practicality that grounded me. The simplicity and directness of his statement underscored a truth that, despite its discomfort, was inescapable.

As I exhaled, the air carrying with it a reluctant acceptance, I found myself grappling for the comfort of familiarity. “I suppose it’s no different to our camping trips, really,” I murmured, the words a feeble attempt to bridge the gap between the stark reality of our current existence and the cherished memories of past adventures. There was a certain solace in drawing parallels to those simpler times, when the concept of survival was part of a scientific escape, not the all-consuming challenge it would inevitably become here.

"No," Chris echoed, his agreement laced with a hint of reflection. "Well, maybe a little." His words, ambiguous, hung in the air between us, an invitation to delve deeper into the mystery he hinted at.

My gaze lingered on Chris, a silent question forming in the depths of my eyes. His invitation, "Come take a look," was both intriguing and daunting, a call to venture further into the unknown that lay just beyond our current understanding.

Treading behind Chris, my footsteps a mixture of hesitation and curiosity, I navigated the landscape that had become both our home and our challenge. The terrain, marked by large boulders and the omnipresent red dust, seemed to shift with each step, a vivid reminder of the unpredictable nature of this place.

When we finally halted, the sight that greeted me was as unexpected as it was unsettling. There, amidst the harsh backdrop of brown rocks and the pervasive red dust, thrived a cluster of small tomato seedlings, their dark green vitality striking a vivid contrast. The realisation of their origin, seeds likely carried here through the most primal of methods, stirred a complex whirlwind of emotions within me. Repulsion and fascination tangled in a tight embrace, a testament to the surrealness of our circumstances.

“This isn’t a phenomenon we want to adjust to,” I found myself saying, an instinctive reaction that made me retract my hand just as it hovered over the verdant leaves of the tomato plants. There was an undeniable allure to the scientific aspects of our discovery, yet the underlying reality of its origins cast a shadow over my curiosity, leaving me feeling unsettled. The juxtaposition of natural wonder against the backdrop of its uncomfortable source created a dichotomy that was hard to reconcile.

“I know,” Chris's voice broke through my contemplation, his tone carrying a depth of reflection. “But it gives a good indication of the soil's strength.” His words, while acknowledging the complexity of our situation, also hinted at an underlying practicality—a willingness to learn from even the most unorthodox of indicators.

I nodded, silently acknowledging his point. The robust growth of the tomato plants, in stark contrast to the more delicate coriander seedlings we had planted, spoke volumes about the fertility of the soil—a fertility possibly augmented by the very cycle of life that unsettled me. The notion that something so fundamental as human waste could contribute to the cycle of growth was intellectually captivating, yet it didn't fully alleviate the discomfort that gnawed at me.

Caught in the midst of these reflections, the natural call of my body made itself known, a stark reminder of the basic biological needs that connected us all to the earth, regardless of the circumstances. “May I?” I asked Chris, a request for privacy veiled in the simplest of terms. My hands moved to unbutton my trousers, an action that felt strangely profound under the gaze of the natural world around us.

“Of course,” Chris replied, his voice laced with an understanding that went beyond mere words. He turned away, affording me a semblance of solitude, his presence a respectful sentinel in the vast openness of our surroundings.

Seeking refuge behind a cluster of rocks, I found a spot that promised a measure of privacy. The rocks stood silent and imposing, their rugged surfaces a testament to the untold stories of the land. As I positioned myself, the fleeting thought crossed my mind—would my own contribution to this patch of earth foster life or disturb the fragile balance we had stumbled upon? It was a question without an immediate answer, but the urgency of my needs left little room for deliberation.

Squatting down, a wave of relief washed over me, both physical and metaphorical. In this moment, the act felt like a communion with the earth, a humbling reminder of the interconnectedness of all living things. The experience, as primitive as it was, served as a grounding force, a visceral acknowledgment of our place in the natural order. As I rejoined Chris, the complexity of our situation seemed to crystallise further—here, in this uncharted territory, every action and every discovery was a thread in the intricate tapestry of survival, each one weaving together the dualities of discomfort and fascination, repulsion and wonder.


Planting the final coriander seed into the welcoming embrace of the soil, I couldn't help but declare, "Last seed." The words left my lips carrying a blend of emotions—satisfaction at the task completed and a whisper of regret that our supply had dwindled to nothing. I lingered for a moment, observing the spot where the seed vanished into the earth, half-expecting the miraculous sprouting that had become a spectacle in this alien landscape. The rapid emergence of new life from the soil had turned into a symbol of hope and a constant source of fascination for us, a reminder of the resilience and adaptability of nature.

"I thought you said we had plenty," Chris's voice broke through my reverie, tinged with curiosity and a touch of surprise.

"I did... We did," I found myself responding, my eyes drifting over the trail of green seedlings that marked our passage through this new world. Each tiny plant stood as a testament to our efforts, a verdant thread weaving through the landscape from the river's edge to our makeshift latrine site—a path of life amidst the uncertainty.

Chris's gaze on me was inquisitive, his head tilted in that familiar way that signalled his mind was at work, sifting through the information, seeking clarity. There was a comfort in the predictability of his reactions, a piece of normalcy in an otherwise unpredictable existence.

Pouting slightly, I felt compelled to clarify, "We planted all of them." It was moments like these that reminded me of the differences in our communication styles—what was obvious to me was sometimes a mystery to Chris.

"All of them?" His repetition carried a hint of disbelief, as if the idea of depleting our entire stock was too surprising to accept without question.

"Yes, Chris. That's what I just said," I retorted, the edges of my patience fraying slightly.

"And they all grew, yeah?" Chris pressed on, his question seeking not just confirmation but perhaps also marvelling at the efficacy of our planting efforts.

"They all sprouted. Whether they continue to grow or not is an entirely different matter," I clarified, my voice carrying a note of cautious realism. It was a small victory to see the seeds break through the soil, yet the uncertainty of their future growth cast a shadow over the moment. The fragile line between initial success and long-term survival in this unfamiliar terrain was ever-present in my mind.

Chris nodded, his expression reflecting a mix of satisfaction and curiosity at my clarification. "How many?" he asked, his interest piqued.

"About thirty. I'd guess we've covered close to three hundred metres. We've still a few hundred metres back to camp," I responded, my mind quickly sifting through the numbers. The distance we had traversed, marked by the trail of sprouting seeds, seemed to stretch even further when quantified.

"Shit!" The word burst from Chris, his usual composure slipping as the magnitude of our discovery hit him. His eyes widened, a clear sign of his surprise and the dawning realisation of the potential significance of what we had found.

I couldn't help but frown at his choice of words, a silent reprimand for the slip in his language. Chris seemed to catch himself, quickly regaining his composure. "I didn't realise we'd gone so far. That's great news if this healthy soil is this widespread," he remarked, his voice now a blend of awe and cautious optimism. His ability to see the silver lining, to grasp at hope in our situation, was both comforting and necessary.

"Healthy soil. That's putting it mildly," I commented, gesturing towards the verdant sprout at our feet. The rapid germination of the seeds was nothing short of miraculous, hinting at the soil's extraordinary fertility and resilience.

Noticing Chris's gaze drifting into the distance, his eyes glazed with a faraway look, concern prickled at the edge of my thoughts. "You alright, Chris?" I asked, my hand finding its way to his shoulder, offering a squeeze meant to ground him back to the moment.

"Yeah," he answered, blinking rapidly as if to clear his mind of whatever thoughts had taken him away. "We're going to be fine." His voice, steadier now, carried a conviction that seemed to anchor him to the present.

As we turned to follow the river back to camp, the gentle rush of water provided a soothing backdrop to our thoughts. Chris's belief in his words, that we were going to be fine, echoed in my mind as a mantra of hope. The contrast between the river's tranquil melody and the silent expanse of the unknown on the other side was stark, a reminder of the balance between beauty and desolation in this new world. Walking back, I couldn't shake off the silent thought that lingered in my heart—I really hope you're right. The endless nothingness that stretched out beyond the river seemed less daunting with each step, a horizon of possibility that, despite everything, held the promise of survival and perhaps, in time, a new beginning.

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