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Introduction Chapter 1 - The Fantasy Tropes Chapter 2 - The True Historical Armours

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Chapter 1 - The Fantasy Tropes

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The Chainmail Bikini

"Why on earth are you only wearing that? Couldn't you afford armour that would actually cover you?" He snorted, "I defeat my enemies using charm" she replied cheekily.

The compromise between having characters in realistic armour and having them more appealing to a greater audience is an ongoing issue, and has been for decades. Whether it is the muscle bound male barbarian or the skimpily clad heroine, showing off their more sexual features tends to draw a larger audience. Which is perhaps why the trope of the chainmail bikini arose and has become so popular in pop culture fantasy stories, Conan The Barbarian probably being the best example. In reality this form of 'protection' would be utterly useless and impractical as this would offer no protection. As this is the primary, and only, purpose of wearing armour in the first place, a tightly fitting and skimpy garment would be a complete waste of time. Even the most meager attack could do some real damage, they may as well wear no armour at all.

It's not just the protection that is the issue here either, the girls featured wearing these are often female barbarians or amazonian women. As such they are prone to living an outdoors life and exposed to the elements. While this may not be an issue in hotter climates, you often see similar scanty outfits, with the addition of some fur lining around the edges, in cold or frozen climates. This would leave the wearer open to the freezing temperatures, with all the risks that would bring. 

One reason this exists is from male writers leading to instances where only females get this overly sexualised treatment while the male characters get full armour to look more 'menacing'. Especially in some video games where the male version looks more typical and covers more yet, when equipped on a female it is shown more like ridiculous lingerie but the protective qualities do not diminish appropriately.

 

Other Female Armours

A downplayed feminine version is the so-called "boobplate", which is a breastplate that doesn't expose flesh but is shaped with individual breast cups. As sometimes depicted - with deep cleavage and no room for protective garments - this could be a dangerous design. In combat the deep cleavage would transmit the impact of a heavy blow directly to the breastbone, potentially fracturing it and perhaps even killing the wearer. Less extreme examples make this unlikely as long as there is enough space and/or padding behind the metal, since plate armor is very tough even without a glancing shape.

Men in history have worn decorative armors with similar "shot traps" and it's been proposed that the real reason there are no historical examples of "boobplate" is that there were nowhere near enough women buying bespoke armors for themselves that a new style would be created for them; most women who donned armor had to make do with whatever they could get their hands on, and the very few professional women-at-arms who purchased bespoke armor could use the male template just fine as long as it was tailored to their measurements. Many medieval breastplates had a dome-like shape with plenty of empty space over the chest, so a smaller bust would fit with no problem, while a larger one could be accomodated by just increasing the globose shape or shifting it upwards.

Of course, there's a real-life parallel in the form of armored codpieces, or "schlong armor" as some jokingly call it, so maybe it's not implausible for a "fancified breastplate" to be made in a fictional society where female warriors are more common and more assertive about their sex than they were historically.

 

Spiked 'Evil' Armour 

"That guy must be evil, I mean, look at all those spikes!"

Another of the common fantasy tropes in many pop culture is the idea of the spiked 'scary looking, evil' armour. This is obviously hugely overdone for aesthetic reasons and to show that the particular character is in some way the 'bad guy', evil sneer being a must have accessory to this. Scary looking armour did exist in history to add a psychological aspect to the wearer's combat style. If an opponent is scared of you then they will either not fight as effectively or maybe even not at all. But this was just a side benefit and did not impede the functionality of the armour. What you see in fantasy, with the big spikes etc. in fact makes the armour less effective as an opponent can just grab one of these spikes and pull the wearer around and gain an element of control over them, perhaps for another attacker to come in and deal the damage. Much of the older fantasy works of fiction overdo this to the point of being so impractical, with spikes, horns, blades and all sorts of other adornments, it would make a porcupine jealous. Another problem with this is the tendency to snag on just about everything possible around the wearer and impeding their ability to fit in tight spaces where otherwise, someone wearing proper armour would be able to.

Samurai are a potential exception to this rule whose spikes are not necessarily villainous. Historically, they did wear headgear with impressively decorated with horns, spikes, and rings; modern depictions of samurai tend to be both heroic and spikey. Also these were not so over the top and did not get in the way of their fighting ability.

 

Studded Leather

Perhaps one of my 'favourite' tropes is the idea of studded leather, especially in table top role play games. This may well be a simple misconception by the game designers having seen medieval works of art depicting soldiers of the time wearing a form of doublet or other clothing adorned in lots of 'studs'. One possible explanation for this is a form of real life armour called the brigandine, which was in fact a metal armour. This consisted of multiple metal plates rivetted to an outer layer of cloth, linen or leather. 

The studded leather armour is a popular choice for rogues, thieves and assassins in games like Dungeons & Dragons, Pathfinder etc. Where in fact just adding metal studs to leather armour (another fact that is in itself contested) would not do anything to improve the protection the garment would offer you. Yet despite the historical inaccuracy this remains a common, established trope in these games to this day. There are thos in the table top role playing games community that desire for this idea to be corrected

 

Leather Armour

As mentioned before, the idea of leather armour in history itself is often contested by many experts in the field of medieval reenactment and the like. The trope of the badass character in fitted leather, black or dark red often being the only colour of choice for any self respecting antagonist, is highly unlikely.

Leather's badass associations originally stem from leather being the garb of choice for bikers, who wear it for practical reasons (leather is tough and offers some protection against road rash as well as from the elements). One of the quickest ways to show that someone is badass or sexy in a "bad boy/girl" way is to dress them up in shiny black leather. Heroes will typically wear a leather jacket or badass longcoat, while villains will more often wear something skintight, with undertones of BDSM. Take the films Blade or Underworld for example. As we all know, the likes of Hollywood care more for the visual effect than being overly historically accurate.

Leather also has the effect of a look that is more primitive and old-fashioned. Since it looks 'cool', all manner of gear made from leather is depicted as a form of lighter armour. Other reasons are that the costume department can put this together more easily and it can be more comfortable and less restrictive for the actor wearing it. 

The popularity of leather armour in a fantasy setting, rather than a historically accurate one, is quite often a over exaggeration, designs being either totally ficticious or belongs to a period other than the one being portrayed. Also modern methods of colouring and even the tanning of the armour may be included, which just adds to the inaccuracy. Additonally, garments made from soft or flimsy pieces of leather being used as armour would do nothing against a blow from a medieval weapon such as an axe, spear, sword or arrows. 

Realistic leather armour in history was commonly much thicker, weighing significantly more and hardened by a certain process, creating something known as boiled leather (also known as cuir bouilli in French). This real form of leather armour will be covered later on.

 

Overly Ornate Armour

While fancy ornate armour did exist back in historical times, mainly for ceremonial purposes, this was by no means to the extent of some of those shown in in fantasy games and other fiction. Some armour shown in games etc are so massively ornate they would have been ridiculously expensive it would break the bank of most people. Also being so overly ornate can make it harder to clean, which is a must to avoid dirt getting in to vital joints causing it to wear and corrode faster. This can be damaging to armour as corrosion can cause weak points or joints to seize up. It goes without saying that this can hamper it's protective properties or limit the wearer's mobility, something that is highly undesirable to someone who's life is on the line.

 


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