Secretary of Sophont Detection

The Secretary of Sophont Detection, sometimes known as "The Cheese" or the "High Hatootie", serves as the final arbiter on matters of sentience within the KCZ. They attempt to ensure that no intelligent being, whether a cow-shaped planar traveler, a newly sentient strawberry, or an awakened cookie meets an unjust end in a pot or on a spit.

Operating under the auspices of the Zone Ministry of Edible Authorization (ZMEA), the Secretary oversees a vast network of Sentience Inspectors and Edible Audtiors spread throughout the Cantons of the Zone. The organization is tasked with:

• Assessing creatures, constructs, and magical entities for sophont status.
• Directing sentient beings to apply for and receive an Ident-a-hedron.
• Ensuring compliance with the Edict of Sophont Preservation.

If disputes arise, such as between a horde of hungry orcs and a particularly tasty looking fey chicken, the Secretary's judgment is final and binding.

The Rat in the Hat

The Secretary's term of service lasts only as long as the lifetime of the mouse they carry in a hat upon their head. When the mouse dies (by natural causes, accident, or foul play), the Secretary's term ends immediately. A successor must be chosen by the sentient mice of the Zone, the Mouse Advisory Committee (MAC).

Yes, the MAC chooses the Cheese.

— Instructor

Rumors persist that the mouse itself is the true arbiter of sentience, whispering judgments into the Secretary's ear. However, the rodent is definitevely NOT considered a sophont by the ZMEA.

Secretary of Sophont Detection by Chris L

The Secretary of Sophont Detection asks himself. "Is this cobra a person?"

The hags of Goblin Town are the particular nemeses of the Sophont Secretary. They are notorious for flouting the Mandates and using polymorph magic to turn their victims into more palatable, less detectable forms.

Edict of Sophont Preservation

The offical wording of the Edict is as follows:

Punishments include fines, forced labor in the Hex Crystal mines, or in extreme cases, being branded non-sophont. Non-sophonts, like outlaws, are stripped of existential status and all their sentient rights.